


Endings

by I_Gave_You_Fair_Warning



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Bittersweet, Deathfic, Gen, Heavy Angst, Morally Dubious Decisions, Sad Ending, Suicide, Time Travel, heavy on the bitter, impossible choices
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-02
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2019-02-27 08:21:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13244307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_Gave_You_Fair_Warning/pseuds/I_Gave_You_Fair_Warning
Summary: Obi-Wan and his former Padawan Anakin have gone back in time to before Phantom Menace.Two Obi-Wans cannot exist in the same timeline. Should they attempt it, both would die. That leaves them with a choice: which to save? Padawan Kenobi, or Master Kenobi?





	Endings

 

Obi-Wan knew Anakin would grieve. He felt sorry for it, wished it could be any other way—

But he'd looked his younger self in the eye, and he could not condemn that life not yet lived to death.

_ Either one of us goes, or we both shatter apart to be claimed by the Force. _

Still-Padawan Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, and Anakin had all seemed content to just ignore the law of the universe until something fell utterly to pieces.

_ But we cannot get home. And with this timeline's child Anakin already dead... He will find a place for himself here. _

Obi-Wan took Anakin's face in his hands, holding him steady. He pressed a kiss to his forehead, and then spoke, gentle and firm. “Watch out for him, please. No Obi-Wan Kenobi should go through life without Anakin Skywalker by his side.”

A low, wounded cry escaped Anakin's lips and he hugged Obi-Wan close.

“I know you're angry,” Obi-Wan murmured through tears, holding his former Padawan tight in return. “I can sense it. Hate me for this, but he is innocent. Please do not add to the conviction he will carry that this is his fault. Remember he's just sixteen.”

Anakin's fingers fisted in his tunic. “Please change your mind.”

“I cannot. I love you, Anakin.”

It was the most difficult thing he'd ever done in his life when he stepped into the chamber where Qui-Gon waited.

_ I want to stay. I want to walk by Anakin's side until he takes a Padawan of his own. I want to stay with  _ you,  _ my Master. _

“Are you sure?” Qui-Gon whispered, voice choked.

“I have lived, Qui-Gon. Perhaps not long, but  _ fully.  _ I am far more ready to go than my younger counterpart is. I want him to live, Qui-Gon. I want him to have years left with you. I want him to finish his teen years with Anakin as his brother.” Obi-Wan moved close to rest his head against Qui-Gon's chest. The older man's arms came up to hold him close. “But I have not the courage to die alone, though I am afraid it will wound you.”

Qui-Gon's hand drew Obi-Wan's chin up so their eyes could meet, Qui-Gon's thumb brushing over his chin. “You held me as I died,” he whispered. “Let me do the same for you.”

Obi-Wan rested there against his chest, basking in how solid and  _ alive  _ Qui-Gon was.

_ May you never experience the agony of losing him the way I did,  _ he thought to his youngerself.  _ Live for us. _

Qui-Gon placed his saber over Obi-Wan's chest, but Obi-Wan's hand stayed his. “No. Not with yours. I would not have its crystal whisper of this to you every time you touch it.”

Obi-Wan drew his own.

“That blade is your  _ life _ , Obi-Wan,” Qui-Gon protested. “Don't take your life with it.”

“Ah. But  _ giving  _ life, that is a worthy endeavor. You've seen the score-marks on your Padawan, Qui-Gon. You've seen him bleed. We don't have much time left.”

Qui-Gon's tears slipped from his eyes. “You have suffered so much already, Ben.”

“Not for much longer. Hold him close, please. Banish the distance you used to keep. Be a father to him. He needs it.”  
“I swear.”  
Obi-Wan gave a solemn nod. “Then I am content.”

  
* * *

 

Anakin heard the gasped sob behind him.

He turned from staring at the closed door to see a figure cowering in the shadows in the room opposite.

_ Oh, dear Force. _

He surged inside, the light from the hall glittering in sixteen-year-old Obi-Wan's eyes.

“I'm dying,” Obi-Wan choked, staring up at him with wide eyes. “That's  _ me  _ in there.”

Anakin knelt beside him, his own tears escaping with silent surety.

Obi-Wan looked close to broken. “I'm afraid. He wants one of us to survive, but it feels cowardly to sit here, knowing he's going to— that he  _ is—  _ and it's going to destroy  _ you,  _ and surely it would be better if  _ I _ —”

“No.” Anakin pulled him into his arms, burying his tears in Obi-Wan's short, thick hair. “I can't lose  _ both  _ of you. And neither can Qui-Gon.”  
“But he's more loved. I should—”

Anakin's arms tightened. “I don't know how any of us are going to make it. But we  _ will.  _ For him.  _ He  _ loves you. Qui-Gon does. And I swear I'm going to take care of you the way he took care of me.”

 

* * *

 

“Hold me.” Obi-Wan huddled against his master's form, gathering his courage together. “Thank you, for everything you gave me. I never had a chance to tell you,  _ before. _ ”

“I love you. So much, Padawan.”

“Tell him,” Obi-Wan pleaded.

Qui-Gon's voice broke with his tears. “Every day.”

Obi-Wan pressed the emitter of his saber to his chest, making sure the blade wouldn't take Qui-Gon's arm, holding him tight.

“Goodbye,” Obi-Wan whispered.

Qui-Gon pressed a kiss to his forehead, his tears falling light against Obi-Wan's skin. “Goodbye.”

Obi-Wan's finger caressed the ignition.

Qui-Gon gave him a brokenhearted smile.

Filling his mind with his master's presence and that smile, Obi-Wan closed his fingers.

 

* * *

 

Sixteen-year-old Obi-Wan let out a wail as the brief hiss of a lightsaber reached their ears.

They sobbed, locked tight in one another's arms.

Anakin couldn't quite breathe as he felt one last infinitely precious caress through the bond, a breathed,  _ I love you,  _ and...

Ribbon by ribbon the bond unraveled until Anakin was left with beautiful threads with no tether. In the back of his mind, the gentle pressure that meant Obi-Wan lived vanished.

_ Dear Force, no. _

From the other room, mind-shattering grief exploded.

With a gasp, younger Obi-Wan tore himself from Anakin's arms and, ignoring Anakin's cry to wait, flung himself into the other room.

Anakin followed, found Qui-Gon cradling the still body close, sobbing—

Looking up, the Jedi master saw the broken eyes of his living Padawan.

Lowering the corpse to a chair, Qui-Gon turned to the smaller Obi-Wan, who launched into his arms and wept into his shoulder.

Qui-Gon clutched him close as if he held the most valuable of treasures.

Anakin dropped to his knees by the corpse, staring up into the quiet calm of the dead face. It wasn't difficult to read the slight glow of contentment there. Of peace.

_ Goodbye, Master. _

And then a face buried itself in his back, hands bunching in the back of his tunics.

_ Come here, Obi-Wan. _

Anakin cradled the distraught Kenobi close, moving to stand them both up so Qui-Gon could gently herd them out of the room.

He watched over them both in the coming days. They watched over each other, all three of them.

_ We miss you,  _ Anakin thought, a year to the day after Obi-Wan's exit from their lives.  _ But I cannot imagine a life without younger you. _

And really, if he had been given an opportunity to give his own youngerself a chance at life...

_ I would have done the same. _

_Rest well, Master._

_Someday I'll come find you. Until then, I'm going to watch over younger you._

_Not just because I love you, but because I love him too._

_You said a Kenobi always needs a Skywalker, but it doesn't just go one way._

_An Anakin Skywalker always needs an Obi-Wan Kenobi._

And the still-living Obi-Wan Kenobi would know just how precious he was in Anakin Skywalker's sight. 

 

 


End file.
